The End

We also had a chance to see a day’s worth Singapore and Kuala Lumpur during layovers, but to include them on the master map would only make us feel farther away from our final destination, which we cannot afford at this moment in time. We are currently in South Africa preparing mentally and physically for our 38 hour, 4 connection, thrice cross-continental return flight home. Tomorrow, on July 2nd, we depart from Cape Town for Johannesburg. From there, we’ll take a red-eye to Doha, a quaint little airport in Qatar (nestled between Saudi Arabia and Yemen) where we’ll spend half a day shmoozing with the natives, exchanging culture, showering in the sinks, etc until we’re summoned for our next red-eye (two in a row- they said it couldn’t be done) to Houston. From there, we, under the assumption that "we" will still be the same sane, cogent, non-biologically hazardous "we" that we were 38 hrs prior, fly home. If, as orbitz predicts, two days will have in fact passed since our departure, Casey predicts, to a degree of accuracy that orbitz would be proud to call their own, that we will be "down to rage” the very same night we return. Please direct all July 4th party enquiries Casey's way.

Truth be told, we are all raged out. We are raged ragged. That includes our resident rager, Casey. We’d have been doing something wrong if we weren’t by now. Our blogging has admittedly suffered as a result. I’m so exhausted that I’m willing to let slide my use of the gerund: “blogging”. And my use of “gerund”. Please don’t expect much from this post.

It will be raw, real, and uncensored (excepting photographs of course, of which there will be many to make up for a lack of text and general effort).

Hoi An

Hoi An is, but won’t be for long, a very cool, quiet beach town. Wiley, in particular, took advantage of this quietude by going door to door asking people to cook white rice for him. You heard me. Having tired of the flavor and salt which befouls restaurant food, he literally went door to door, asking nice, unsuspecting Vietnamese if they would be willing to lend him their rice cooker for an hour. His usual strategy was to hold up 5 kg of rice, point into the tupperware (or bucket, as it’s affectionately known) where the cooked rice would be deposited, and then rub his belly circularly to explain that his metabolism and sense of humor are that of a 14 year old. His success rate was low. But always eventually he would momentarily confuse someone enough that they would agree to cook his rice for him. He always offered to pay, but rarely, after listening to him explain, while the rice cooked, how inadequately rice substitutes for oats, would they accept his tribute. This happened in every village in every country in Asia, until finally Wiley blogged about it in the third person in order to minimize shame felt.

The General Reaction to Wiley

While Wiley was busy “making friends”, Nick and Casey were getting clothes tailored. Hoi An is the tailoring capital of Southeast Asia. Nick bought a whole new wardrobe, and Casey increased the sauciness of his tenfold. Here are some photos of Casey flexing for his seamstress, Wiley’s honest advice to Nick, and the direction Nick went instead, in that order.

Phu Quoc

From Hoi An, we snorkeled and danced in Nha Trang for a few days, and then spent a week in Saigon. Both paled in comparison to a remote island we heard about off the southern tip of Vietnam: Phu Quoc. The most cliché gift shop postcards could not have prepared us for how tropical this island was. We rented motorbikes and discovered a new beach every day. The unanimous highlight was our consummately beautiful environment, and the runners up were crazy lightning storms every night, an octopus we found and named Judy, and phosphorescent bacteria in the 90 degree water. One night after one too many coconuts, we were swimming in the ocean watching the nightly lightning, when Casey noticed that his swimming hands were leaving a trail of fireworks. We decided that the lightning had charged us with electricity. In other words, I pretended I was Zues until Nick and Casey explained to me that I hadn’t harnessed the energy of the skies. Apparently, certain phytoplankton produce light when under duress for evolutionary reasons. Doesn’t seem selectively advantageous to me, but we enjoyed it nonetheless until we were dangerously dehydrated from having been in the water so long. Phu Quoc, wherever you are… I miss you.

Our neighbors and daily 5AM wake up call

Cambodia

Cambodia was significantly poorer and friendlier than Vietnam. Unfortunately we spent so long in Phu Quoc that we had limited time to experience it. In Vietnam, we often felt objectified by street vendors; whereas in Cambodia, the vendors, though just as aggressive, seemed to acknowledge that we were fellow human beings, albeit infinitely more privileged ones. Casey and Nick may disagree, and not indefensibly so because Angkor Wat is quite commercial, but I would cite the following incident as an example of the difference between Cambodia and Vietnam…

It’s sad but true that the most effective vendors are small children. Whether as a result of pity or playfulness, it’s simply harder to ignore them. It churns my stomach just thinking about it because the reality is they end up forfeiting an education so that they can earn money for their parents to embezzle. We were warned countless times that giving out of the goodness of our hearts would only perpetuate the system.

Anyway, Cambodian kids are a surprisingly plucky bunch. And smart, too. They are quick to realize that we are not interested in their trinkets, but still eager to take time out of their day to mock us. One particular girl tried to sell Nick flowers “for his girlfriend”, to which Nick replied that he didn’t know any girls. Recognizing the joke, despite having no formal education in English or Cambodian, she quipped back, “That’s surprising. Gay guys normally know lots of girls.” I was smitten. Anyone who can make fun of Nick, and inappropriately at that, is necessarily my type. I proceeded to buy a bouquet from her and give it to Nick.

On a separate occasion, a young girl demanded that if we weren’t going to buy anything from her, we at least help her with her math. It was done tastefully and hilariously and with a vitality one wouldn’t expect from a country whose roads are 5% paved and whose people are 98% poor. What a sadly beautiful country.

No squatting on toilet, no spraying feet, no raking hair

Pachycephalosaurus

Laos

Monks on a Path

Veng Viang

Luang Prabang ($4/night)

Bali

That's right!!! Wendell, Celeste, and Ketut flew out to visit!

Four Seasons in Ubud

please explain this to me

South Africa

World Cup


Look familiar?

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/06/24/sports/soccer/24usgame.html
Check photo #3


Round of 16
Spain vs. Portugal (1 - 0)

Gana Street Celebration in Cape Town

World Cup was insane and certainly a highlight of the trip, but Johannesburg itself was the real eye-opener. Here is the only photo evidence we have because we were too scared to carry our cameras. 70 rand is approximately 9 US dollars.

Below is my least failing attempt to do our Johannesburg experience justice:

June 20, 2010
Email to mom

Everyone is so heartbreakingly friendly. And uncannily good at dancing. I feel much more at home here than in Asia. I think my slanty eyes only disguise my African origin. I walk around feeling overwhelmingly happy (and also guilty) that people are so god damn down to earth. We met a man on the bus the other day who, having known us for fewer than 5 minutes, invited us into his home, where we proceeded to meet his mom (who offered to take us 450 kilometers to her birthplace next week) and his brothers (who cannot stop challenging me to games of chess). Mind you, this is all taking place in the poorest, most criminal, racially charged neighborhood in Johannesburg (the most criminal, racially charged city in the world). It’s wild. Lions and tigers wild but also AIDS and barbed wire wild. Did you know 1/3 of the population is HIV positive? It's disarming. Everyone we meet in our township insists we let them help us find a safer part of town to stay in. But we've yet to meet someone who isn't unwaveringly friendly. I’m starting to wonder if the people they are trying to protect us from really exist. Is it all part of a big conspiracy to scare the white folks away so we don’t spoil their utopia? If I give my life savings away to every person I meet, as I am compelled to do, what will I have to give the next person, who is just as deserving? It hurts my brain and enlarges my heart to be here.

The random acts of kindess and hospitality eventually ceased to surprise us because they occurred so often, but were never anything less than inspiring. I have tried hard to bring the spirit back to the states. If you want to hear more stories about Phillip the Chessmaster and his family, let us know. We have an endless supply of ones that will warm your heart and water your eyes. In many ways, Johannesburg was a lot like a Disney movie for me- it was happy and hopeful but ultimately I was fighting tears the whole time. Thanks to everyone who made this trip possible for us- our families at home, and the ones we made abroad.

I love you all!


Even you two...
thanks for always being there.